How to drink a lot and eat well and not die.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I moved to a new apartment! So yeah, apologies for being absent, but I’ve been a bit busy. The good news is, I now live alone, which means I can spend ALL my free time cooking, drinking, eating, and WRITING. I’m pretty excited about it.

I figure this is a perfect moment to give some life lessons. I’ve been writing for nearly 2 years now (although not often, to be fair). But at any rate, I have yet to post a “life lessons” type of post, and I think it is now time.

So, here are some RULES FOR LIVING LIKE I DO. Because I live like an idiot and it’s amazing that I’ve survived this long.

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First set of rules is Things that are good (i.e. do these things):

1. When cooking, always have a beer or glass of wine by your side. It seriously makes the cooking experience that much better.

2. MAKE A PLAYLIST. There are plenty of playlists that I listen to often, but there are only 2 or 3 I listen to while cooking. It’s important to set the right mood.

3. Learn to drink. This is the worst advice EVER. But seriously, having a high tolerance is a wonderful thing. Don’t listen to a word I say.url

4. Go to lots of bars. I absolutely, 100% believe in the “neighborhood dive bar” effect. I love those places, and I will always search for “my spot.” BUT SERIOUSLY, MOVE ON. It’s important to expand your horizons.

5. Use cookbooks! Not everyone is gifted. I am certainly not gifted. I’m a reasonably good cook, but my best meals come from cookbooks. If you can read, you can follow directions. Do it.

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The second part of this list is probably more important. Things that are BAD (i.e. DO NOT do these things):

1. Never, ever, EVER cut jalapeno peppers and then rub your eyes. It will hurt. I swear. I do it too often.

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2. Do not, under any circumstances, buy onion goggles. Seriously, you will look like a doofus. Man up. Cry it out. It’s all ok. The tears will salt your food nicely. (If you have it as bad as my friend Nora, you’re allowed. I’ll give you that.)

3. Don’t push the hot oven rack back in the oven with your bare hands. Use an oven mitt. This should be obvious, but I have failed to follow this rule, so I just want to be clear.

4. Don’t forget to eat. If you’re drinking lots, which you may very well be doing if you read my blog, you should eat enough food to sustain yourself. Vomiting is poor form.

5. DON’T BE STUPID. I take the bus. I can get as drunk as I want, and maybe I’ll pass out or miss my stop or crash on a friend’s couch/floor, but at least I won’t die or kill someone else. Drinking and driving is not just irresponsible, it is idiotic. Don’t do it.

(Sorry to bum you all out with that last one, but I want to be clear. I don’t condone that shit.)

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So there  you have it. Rules for living like I do and not completely losing your shit! Hooray!

I miss you, dear readers. And fear not, I have lots to say. Things to look forward to include the following:

  • Belgian beer festival!
  • CHEESE
  • That awesome place I was supposed to write about before but didn’t
  • ALL THE BARS OF SEATTLE!!!

Ok, that’s enough for now. Follow the rules, kids. And enjoy drinking/eating/cooking lots.

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