How I dominated SoDo by drinking all its beer.

I drank a lot of beer yesterday. Like, when I look back on it, I’m a little bit alarmed. I think I tasted/tried/drank at least 25 different beers yesterday.

Basically, I am a rockstar.

As with many Saturdays, I woke up thinking, “Hey, I’d like to drink a lot of beer today.” But unlike most Saturdays which end in disappointment and failure (“Man, I hardly drank any beer today. This sucks.”), I actually did drink a ton of beer yesterday. Because yesterday, I decided to do a brewery crawl in SoDo, and I succeeded!

[Note to readers: If you don’t really care about the beer I drank, you should skip forward and read about the part where I got drunk in a bar and played Battleship for an hour! I am not even kidding.]

The drinking began around 3pm (day drinking, huzzah!) at the Emerald City Beer Company. Emerald City is a pretty unique brewery, in that they only brew lagers. This is doubly surprising, because many American breweries don’t brew lagers at all, and those that do still mostly brew ales. But ECBC is all about the lagers, and they do it very well.

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The other fun thing about Emerald City is the beer wenches. Dottie is the Seattle lager, Betty is the dark lager, and Ivana is the pale lager. Another fun fact: they only “bottle” in tallboy cans. They call them “tallgirls.” Hah!

I did a flight of all four, which included the three named above and a brand new pilsner. The pilsner was truly fantastic and apparently got pretty positive reviews at a Seattle beer festival last week, so I’m assuming we’ll see a 4th beer wench pop up soon enough.

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The next stop on the tour was Two Beers Brewing Co. The tasting room is quaint and comfortable, with a nice big bar right up front serving their own beers, ciders from the co-owned Seattle Cider Company, and a few guest beers from outside Seattle. They had nearly 14 beers on draft, so we picked a random flight of four:

  • EVO IPA – Northwest-style IPA
  • Black Forest Gin Porter – really bizarre porter that kind of tasted like gin? I don’t really know.
  • SMASH Legacy Hop – Really hoppy, super delicious.
  • Jive Espresso Stout – on nitro! Really smooth, drinkable stout.

Also, Two Beers kind of has the best slogan:

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Pretty accurate, if you ask me.

At this point I was feeling really satisfied, and I was 100% committed to continuing the tour. We had already hit two breweries and I had every intention of going to two more. I mean it was barely 5pm! (The sad part is that during the summer I would still call this “day drinking,” but it was completely dark outside by this point. Damnit, winter.)

We rolled along to the next stop, Schooner Exact Brewing Company. And when we got there, I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that they did a flight of ALL EIGHT BEERS that they had on draft. And of course, more beer is better beer!

So that’s what we ordered (duh). We also ordered Jo Jo’s, which apparently are a thing in Seattle. I had never heard of them before, but I guess they’re basically just fat french fries. I don’t really understand.

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Regardless of why they have such a funky name, they were damn tasty and definitely complemented our beautiful beer board. I think my favorites were the Profanity Hill Porter, the Gateway Golden Ale, and the Imperial Project (Imperial IPA). We also got to try the barrel-aged Hoppy the Woodsman holiday release. Nomnomnom.

And there we were, 20 beers in (I mean, not really, but really!) and it was clearly time for some serious nosh.

And so we went to Epic Ales. (Yes, it is actually called that.)

Oh, did I mention that they have a brand new restaurant there? Co-owned by Epic Ales head brewer Cody Morris and Seattle chef Travis Kukull, Gastropod serves small plates that are kind of “out there,” pairing them with delicious and creative beers from Epic.

DSCN1508(That guy on the left? He’s the head chef!)

And holy crap.

The food.

I ate a roasted hamachi collar in a kimchee butter sauce that left me drooling for quite some time afterwards. (Also brussels sprouts. And poutine. Poutine!!!)

I also drank two delicious beers. First was the Chateau du Parti, a blonde sour brewed with Riesling grapes. On its own the beer was fantastic, but they also allowed you to add “syrups” if you so chose. My drinking buddy chose Campari to add to his, which really brought out some other flavors in a cool way. (If you are sick, they will let you add Emergen-C! Kind of awesome.)

Second delicious beer was called The Briny Deep. It was an oyster stout and ’twas truly fantastic. Maybe the best beer of the night.

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And then the real fun began! At this point I was mildly inebriated, but it was barely 7:30pm and I was in no way ready to end my day of beer adventures.

And so we ventured to Georgetown.

Georgetown is in the industrial part of Seattle, so a lot of the bars are spacious, dark, and dive-y. All of these things are awesome.

First we went to the 9lb Hammer, a dive bar featuring vats of peanuts, shuffleboard, and board games. The beer list is almost exclusively from Georgetown Brewery, with a few others sprinkled in. We settled in at a small table by the back bar and decided to play board games.

We chose Battleship.

We played Battleship for over an hour.

No, seriously.

We actually played like 6 games of Battleship.

I won a lot.

Yesssss…..

Oh, and obviously we continued to drink beer during this time. At this point I was on beer #23. This includes all of the 3-4oz tasters I had earlier. BUT STILL. I had had a lot of beer by this point.

So, shit got kind of weird when a big bar crawl group came in. And by weird I mean loud. And this 30-year-old dude sat down at our table and kept complaining about how he was far too old to be doing bar crawls, and he was here with his little brother (age 24) and he was just so exhausted and trying to hide because he didn’t want anyone to see him. Also, he’s from West Seattle but lives in Albuquerque, and he just wanted to go home to his wife, and his dream is to go to UW but he never got to do it when he was younger, but he is still hoping to go someday, and on and on and on.

I pretty much learned everything about this man in a matter of 10 minutes.

Anyway.

We decided to leave and go to another bar (which the bar crawl group had already ravaged, huzzah!) called Jules Maes Saloon. I feel like I don’t even need to say anything more about the place because it is called Jules Maes Saloon. And that is amazing.

First we played pool.

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And then we played pinball.

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And then I took a picture of this sign because I was drunk and didn’t know what else to do.

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And then it was 1:30am and they kicked us out of the bar because they were closing. But we were hungry, so we went to Wendy’s.

Really, the night just ended weirdly.

But it’s ok. Because on Saturday, dear friends, I fulfilled my destiny and finally actually drank a lot of beer when I said I was going to.

And it was awesome.

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