If “survival of the fittest” was still a thing, I’d probably have died long ago. Partly because I have no survival skills (I’m a skinny white girl who often forsakes meals for booze), and apparently, as I learned last weekend, I am a complete idiot.
On Sunday I did a bunch of things that, in retrospect, sound really dumb. I went really far away from my house (like, as far as I could go without leaving the city limits), hung out in a bar alone (which I do a lot anyway, but still), got really drunk in a bar alone (which I also do, but still), and made friends with a lot of 40+ something men.
I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of myself, but I don’t really care either way. I had SO MUCH FUN.
I’ve been doing this sort of “beer tour” type thing over the past week: 12 days, 4 bars, 12 beers. You can probably do the math on your own, but it’s basically like this: each bar has 3 “special” beers on tap. You get a punch card and try to visit all 4 bars and drink the 3 designated beers at each bar between December 1st-12th. If you succeed, your fully punched card goes in a drawing to win lots of prizes! (Tonight, in fact, is the final “party” type deal. I will be heading there momentarily.)
So anyway, The Beer Authority was super far away, and the weekend seemed like the best time to go far away and do lots of drinking. So I went there. Alone. On a Sunday afternoon.
It also happened to be during the Seahawks game, which was actually really cool. The bar was packed and everyone was watching the game intently. It seemed like everyone knew each other and they were all friends. (I later learned that this was basically the case.) The vibe was awesome, it felt welcoming, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least being there on my own.
And then the dogs. OH. MY. DOGS. Dog-friendly establishments are pretty much the coolest. First I was greeting by Sophia, who smelled the teriyaki I had just purchased for lunch. (BYOFood is also a wonderful thing.)
Then I met Moze, who might be the coolest dog I’ve ever seen. He’s a bloodhound, and is droopier than any dog I’ve ever met. He was awesome.
Moze was also clearly coveting my food, but I didn’t mind. His owner, however, seemed pretty concerned that I might be bothered by this dog’s presence, so he came over to apologize. In retrospect, I think it was simply an excuse for him to come talk to me, but whatever.
Sebastian (or Sebastiano, as he introduced himself to me) is a hippie Italian-American dude who lives on the beach in West Seattle and apparently “never interacts with the outside world.” Except, of course, when he’s at the Beer Authority. But only on Sundays. He kept talking to me about the cioppino he made, whereupon I understood that these people actually do all know each other, and they’ve created this Sunday potluck tradition where they all bring some sort of dish to the bar for Sunday football. It is kind of the coolest thing ever.
I was intrigued but also on a mission to drink my three beers, so I went back up to the bar and ordered round #2. The waitress was SO friendly, and she even remembered my name and which of the beers I had already tried, so I hardly needed to do anything. And this with a packed bar! Man, it was great.
I sat back down and spent some time ogling the dogs on the porch outside, at which point another man, Glen, came over and told me that I looked ridiculous staring at the dogs that way. I was a bit embarrassed, but it didn’t matter. He thought I was funny. I then learned many things about this man, including that he had spent time in jail, did a lot of bad things growing up, and is now really nice. What?
It was pretty weird, but I liked him so I didn’t mind. I also met a few other younger guys who I can’t remember their names. Also Maggie! She was super nice. And some dude who thought I was a bartender. I don’t really know. Time sort of flew by.
It was at that point that I realized I’d been there for hours and probably should go home, but instead I ran across the street with Glen and Maggie and did shots of whiskey at another bar. Then we came back and continued drinking beer. And then people were leaving, and I was drunk, and I started talking to the bartender, Burk, who is also the owner. And he was super nice. And he told me all about the bar and I tried to remember things so I could write it down, but I was too drunk.
Oh, did I mention it’s also a bottle shop? That’s probably a key piece of info. Also they have board games! And giant Jenga! Whee!
And then it was 8pm. Holy shit. I’d been there for nearly 7 hours and I hadn’t even realized it. I ended up calling a friend to pick me up because I didn’t know what to do with myself.
But even after that bizarre experience, I couldn’t stop thinking about the place. Man. The Beer Authority is so cool! I made so many friends! It’s amazing! (So amazing, in fact, that I may just go back there for Sunday football again. Because why not?)
[Next time, on Christina’s beer adventures: The 12 Beers of Christmas! The countdown starts tomorrow!]