Well, shit. Time sure does fly. Pretty sure it flies even faster when you’re drinking.
There’s a part of me that wants this to be a complete stream of consciousness post, because as I think back on the last 8 weeks, a flood of completely unrelated phrases keep coming to mind. Things like “beer on the pier” and “drunk leopard” and “fuck this bar, let’s go to that other bar.”
Oh wait, I guess they all relate to drinking. Less unrelated than I thought. Damn, I was really hoping I could be the next great 21st century writer. Like Virginia Woolf. Except drunker and not trying to drown myself.
Blogging about drinking is hard, because when you’re drinking you tend to forget to do important things, like blog about drinking. And then days pass by and you feel so guilty about not writing something that you drink more, and then you forget again, and then it just gets harder and harder to do because you’re ashamed and drunk (again).
But how can I simply brush over the fact that in the last two months I have had epic drinking experiences in Los Angeles, Seattle, Honolulu, and Las Vegas? How can I simply move on and pretend these things didn’t happen?!
I can’t possibly do that. Especially because in the next two months I will be having more drinking experiences in San Francisco, Chicago, and Italy! I have to catch up, dammit! These stories cannot be left untold!
And so, dear friends, we are about to go back in time. Over the next week, I will catch you up on all the wonderful things I have been doing since Christmastime. (Yes, I know I did tell you about that one brunch spot, but really, that’s lame in comparison to what I have NOT told you yet.)
Things you have to look forward to:
- drunk leopard
- drunk cousin
- drunk me
- drunk me and my girlfriend Aiva hanging out with a 60-year-old dude in Ballard
- drunk uncle
- (but not really that last one)
Oh, and did I mention I’m wine drunk right now?! Wheeee!!
[Side note: Two nights ago while opening a bottle of wine, I managed not only to break my corkscrew but also break the entire top part off the bottle itself, which resulted in shards of glass all over the place and completely undrinkable wine. So since then, I have been drinking wine with a vengeance to make up for the fact that I didn’t get any wine on Tuesday.]
So happy Thirsty Thursday, friends. I might be too drunk to end this post coherently, and so I shall simply leave and write more posts about all the things I failed to tell you about last month.
Hugs and love,