I know, I know. There is obviously a crapload of stuff I haven’t written about in the past 3+ months. That’s just what happens when you’re never home and able to get drunk by yourself in the living room. (Because that’s when my writing is at its best. Duh.)
And so, here I am. Halfway through a bottle of red wine, all alone in my twilight-filled living room, feeling super goofy and mellow. And I just couldn’t resist telling you all about the CHALLENGE.
Backstory is overrated. I’ll let you imagine how this whole thing came to be. Hell, I’ll let you imagine all sorts of things. Since I last wrote, I’ve been to Chicago, Italy, Ohio, Amsterdam, and the most drunken ultimate frisbee event there is. IMAGINE THAT.
(I promise I will tell you about all those things at some point. It might be fiction, though, because mostly I was drunk and I only sort of remember what happened in June.)
*pause for wine refill*
(Shit, I am drinking this quickly.)
ANYWAY. Back to the point. Which is this: In 1 week, I will attempt the pain au chocolat challenge.
Here’s what the challenge entails: In 1 day, I must consume 5 of these delectable pastries. The catch: each pastry must be from a different country.
Fortunately for me, I will be embarking on an EPIC ROAD TRIP across Europe next Wednesday. The day shall begin in Amsterdam and shall end in Como, Italy. And during this trip, I will eat a chocolate croissant in each country we pass through.
The trip looks something like this:
I will eat 1 pain au chocolat each in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, France, and Switzerland. (I will not eat one in Italy because a) it will be very very late by then and I think the bakeries will be closed and b) well, it’s 5 pastries from 5 countries and adding a 6th seems dumb.)
I am going to DOCUMENT THE SHIT out of this, so you should probably start following me on Instagram or something. Also I will rate each croissant on a scale of 1 to is-this-better-than-the-last-one-I-ate. (Netherlands, you certainly have an advantage. Also, it will be breakfast time when I eat the first one, so it will probably be my favorite one anyway.)
I predict that #3 will be the most difficult to find. (Do they even make French pastries in Germany?)
I predict that #5 will be the most painful to digest.
If #4 isn’t the tastiest one I eat all trip, I will forever have a lower opinion of France. You hear that, France? I have high expectations for your fancy pastries.
And so, dear friends, the countdown begins. T-7 days until pastry time. Until then, more food porn: