On Sunday afternoon, I got drunk and made an apple cake. It also happened to be super adorable. Here is the story of how the adorable apple cake came to be.
October 5th. The Un-Live Blog.
3:22pm – Open a beer. Drink it. Gotta warm up your drinking muscles and relax your cooking muscles. #science
3:46pm – Open beer #2. Time to start cooking!
4:01pm – Spend far too long cutting apples. Blegh.
4:02pm – Drink a bunch of beer.
4:07pm – Quick clean up. Drink more beer because you’re too sober. Restrain yourself from eating the apples that are now coated in sugar and lemon juice.
4:17pm – Halfway through beating the batter. Arms are tired. Need more beer.
4:21pm – Seriously, why are you drinking your beer so slowly?
4:28pm – Finish beating batter. Lick the beaters. Chase with beer.
4:29pm – Dance break!
4:35pm – Beat those eggs whites! Listen to “Beat It” as you do so.
4:40pm – OMG THE BATTER IS DONE.
4:42pm – OMG this cake is going to be amazing.
4:45pm – In the oven! Eat remaining batter off the spoon. Finish beer.
4:49pm – Beer #3!
4:50pm – Dance break.
4:55pm – Dishes break.
4:58pm – Dishes are done!
5:00pm – Cake smells amazing. Still 20 minutes to wait. TORTURE.
5:01pm – Distract yourself by doing something else in the kitchen.
5:05pm – Successfully quarter an acorn squash. This has nothing to do with cake. Also, it only took 4 minutes. DAMNIT.
5:07pm – Continue drinking beer and dancing around the living room.
5:12pm – OMG HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN 5 MINUTES. I am too impatient right now. I blame the beer.
5:13pm – Drink beer. Again. Because what else are you going to do?
5:17pm – 2 MINUTES LEFT.
5:20pm – TIMER WENT OFF OMG IT’S DONE.
5:20pm – Shit, no it’s not. DAMNIT.
5:20pm – Set timer for 5 more minutes. Glumly drink more beer.
5:21pm – Beer is awesome!
5:26pm – THE CAKE IS DONE. Look how adorable it is!
5:27pm – Allow cake to cool. Try to figure out how to edit a video. Fail completely. Drink more beer.
5:35pm – ROOMMATE IS HOME! Yay! Now I can actually do something productive with that acorn squash…
[At this point, hours pass. I do, in fact, cook the acorn squash. My roomie and I also make salmon and kale. We be fancy. We eat dinner. I drink about half a bottle of wine. The drunkenness continues. Dinner is delicious. And then cake-time continues.]
8:49pm – CAKE. (Suddenly I have remembered that cake happened earlier.)
8:50pm – Make honey glaze for cake.
8:51pm – Honey glaze is done! (Yeah, it’s basically just slightly-warmed honey. Whatevs.)
8:52pm – Glaze cake.
8:48pm – My roommate and I then proceed to devour said cake. And by devour I mean we each have a small slice that we eat very delicately with a fork. Because we are classy like that. (I mean, we just had salmon + squash + kale for dinner. We be classy folk here in Seattle.)
Ok, I’m pretty drunk. Umm. Yep.
OH. Right. Recipe. If you want it, I stole it from Smitten Kitchen. Cuz she’s pretty much the best. You can find it here!
And now I have no more to say. Happy Sunday!