Well, friends. I did it again. Drunk baking. My favorite pastime!
And this time, it got real drunk.
A few weeks ago, I decided to make one of the most involved recipes on the planet. Like, holy cow. It’s pretty unnecessary how involved this recipe was. As such, since I knew I would be devoting most of my afternoon to the project, I decided to get really drunk.
Oh, and I succeeded. Obviously.
This time, I also did something else new and exciting. I attempted to make a podcast. It didn’t go so well. I got too drunk and disorganized to handle my shit, so it turned into two hours of me rambling, making messes, dropping shit, burning myself, and laughing uncontrollably.
Here’s how it all went down.
The recipe: Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
First, I made pie crust. Nothing too complicated.
Then I made miniature pumpkin pies. Adorable, but still not particularly complicated.
But then I was halfway through a bottle of wine and things started to get weird.
I managed to make the cupcake batter, but once the first batch was in the oven I sort of lost my shit and this happened:
Yeah. It was bad. Even worse considering I took that photo of myself. Yikes.
Despite this, I somehow managed to make it to the grocery store and back before the first batch was done!
But then the podcast seriously went south. I couldn’t stop laughing, and I nearly destroyed my kitchen trying to get the second batch in the oven. I had drunk over 75% of the bottle of wine on an empty stomach and shit was getting weird. I ended up sitting on my floor while the second batch was baking and just eating batter out of the bowl.
Yes. I ate all of the leftover batter. ALL OF IT.
Thank goodness I managed to stay coherent enough to pull the cupcakes out of the oven at the right time. Because immediately afterwards, I passed out for about an hour. When I awoke, I knew I needed to feed myself something solid, so I made myself a bunch of pasta and (of course) finished the wine.
By that point I was so drunk and exhausted that I simply gave up on making frosting and decided to leave it for the next day.
On the upside, although the podcast was an utter failure (even hours of editing couldn’t make it worth listening to), some of the outtakes seemed worth saving. And so, dear friends, here is a sampling of what happens when I get really drunk and try to make cupcakes: